we kill what we build because we own the sky

Why is this blog turning into ma vie sexuelle? I've had a few complicated romantic fuckups in my life, but this month has been mad. Ruby, Nick, Matt, John...all people I've either done far more with than I actually wanted to, or good sense suggested would be wise, or when I actually wanted something to happen, it all went dead.

Well, I liked Alice from the moment I met her, and we were kind of compatible tastes-wise anyway, then we got pretty damn drunk and kissed. Quite a lot. She has a boyfriend, but she spoke about him like she was just waiting for the right moment to break up. We left it like that, but we were both pretty wrecked anyway, so it may be nothing. But she's living with Ellie and Kate next year, so I'd like us to be cool anyway. And at least there's one massive difference in this instance: I am very sure that she started it. Not complaining, but it's just nice to be sure.

Oh well. Even if nothing happens, it made for a fun night out. And I do like her a lot, so we'll see where it goes.

Back to everything else: John texted Jenny a few nights ago asking if the girlfriend thing was just an excuse. Head. Bang. He's backed off now, but if he brings it up again I'll hit him. It's putting both of us in a real spot with Jenny, as she's having to be the intermediary. Fingers crossed he's getting the message now: dude, it's been a week! Let it go. I told Mum a little about it all, and I think she's a bit concerned that I'm out of control.

I got my essay back from Matt: 72. Not bad, it means I've got all Firsts last term and I'm averaging about an 80 overall, and factored in with last year that's like a 78, but I'm a bit meh about it. Largely because his main issue was with my style, which both Fearn and Monica praised, and he kept talking about my 'potential'. I thought I'd cracked all this: I didn't realise I was back to being a 'potentially' good student. I'm also in a bind because he prefers you to work with a thesis, like you're trying to prove a point of view. I prefer presenting the debate on an issue, and then having balanced the evidence, explaining why I favour one side. It then looks less like you're twisting the evidence to your POV. But do I change my style, the style that Fearn and Monica both approve of, for this? Like I said, it's a bind.

Ancient Greek is a bitch. I have about 20 verbs to learn, with their principle parts. Greek principle parts are first person present, future, aorist, perfect, perfect middle/passive, aorist passive. You can understand why that's such a pain in the hole. Clive also hates us, and me in particular, but considering that he's a moron, that's kind of a compliment.

However, I am going to Athens in March now. Fun fun. Jenny, Paul, Joe and I are going with Classics peeps, which should be a right laugh. I'm looking forward to it already. It's not like I have a heavy load at the end of term either: all my essays are due in week 7. (Crap, that's like a month from now. Bollocks.)

This is what's known as epic procrastination. I'm taking notes from a book due back on Thursday, and I have so much work to do between now and then that I really need to get it done tonight. However, thanks to everything else getting in the way, I've actually done a little over two pages, and it's a ten-page article. Last night, taking notes from a twenty-pages article took 7 1/2 hours. I didn't sleep until 4am. I need a life. Seriously. To procrastinate, I've learnt about five new tabs, smoked, IM'd Kate, Facebooked Annis and am now blogging. And now, having reread this post, I'm fantasising about good looking girls.

FAIL.